The past week and a half has seemed to be a whirlwind of long hours, exams, and billions of goodbyes. Last week was all 10+ hour days at the school split between teaching English with Clara and working with Lizeth on science stuff.
Last week was English exams for all the classes in the whole school. Clara and I had seven fifth and sixth grade classes. I graded all of them (24-hour turn around; I was quite proud of myself) and went through a strange range of emotions as I did. The first class was great they did what they were supposed to and responded really well. I felt really good about that. When I got here, they were taking their first exams and it was great to see a full cycle go by where I was present for all that they learned on the exam. The students who scored the highest didn’t really surprise me, but it was fun to “root” for them as I was grading. In contrast, the second class I graded was a complete failure. And, as excited as I was about the first group, I was more crushed by the second. I was verbally exclaiming my frustrations at the exams as I was marking them. It was really hard to see things that I thought were so painfully obvious fly over their heads. It was obvious that this class hadn’t even bothered to study in the least and it really sucked to watch the scores fall apart as I went (the average came out to a 62%). But then after that, I went through another great class who averaged a 90%. I was really confused how there could be such a huge disparity between the classes. I wasn’t sure how to take it from the “I got to be the teacher” standpoint. A balance between not taking too much responsibility for the failure or too much credit for the success I suppose. It was still kind of emotional feedback about what I’ve been doing for the past two months.
The past two days have been a long strung out series of goodbyes. Three of my classes threw me good-bye parties, complete with cards, presents, cake, and balloons. My fourth-graders even managed to keep a secret for FIVE days!! Today, they threw me a surprise party. Each of them brought something like food or cups and they even came up with a legitimate excuse to get me out of the room and bring me back at the right time. It was so sweet and I’m going to miss all of them so much. It was really hard to say goodbye to all of the kids and teachers. I’ve gotten more attached to them than anyone else here in Costa Rica. I was also the first classroom volunteer they’ve had at the school and so the kids aren’t jaded yet by the show up/leave/show up/leave volunteer cycle. They weren’t afraid to get attached and they really didn’t understand why I wasn’t coming back. It was so hard today to refrain from saying “See you later!” when I was saying goodbye. I came home with, not exaggerating, more than a hundred notes and cards from different kids. All of them said basically the same thing: Please don’t go, we’re going to miss you so much, thank you again and again, please don’t ever forget us, we’ll never forget you. It was still so touching to read each of them and see the artwork the kids had done on each sheet of paper.
I was afraid I missed saying goodbye to my teacher, Clara. We didn’t get to talk after I got kidnapped for a party yesterday and I was worried I wouldn’t get to see her at all. Fortunately, she came over to my house this afternoon just to say goodbye. It’s been such a tremendous experience getting to actually teach and work with the students and I’m so glad she let me jump in and was so friendly about me working with her.
My goodbye to Lizeth was definitely the hardest. Over just the past month, I’ve grown to love and respect her so much. She’s opened her home to me, let me play with her kids, shared her life and her experiences with me, and been so encouraging as I’ve worked in her class. She works so incredibly hard and is so loving and gentle without being a pushover. And her little kids are well-behaved little angels. I don’t know how she does it. A million hours a week teaching fourth graders, then being the science curriculum coordinator and being a single mom of four kids on top of all of it. She has two older ones- one is in college but the other lives at home with his one-year-old daughter (and sometimes his girlfriend too). Then she has a four-year-old and a one-year-old too and no support from her ex-husband. Plus she’s basically raising her granddaughter. She has been so wonderful to me over the past couple months and it was really emotional to say goodbye to her.
It’s been a really great experience teaching over the last two months. I’ve had lots of frustrations and tough spots, but never because the kids and teachers weren’t wonderful. I got stuck fighting the “system” but still got really attached to the people. I’ve been so blessed by the opportunities I’ve had here and am so glad to have been here.